The moment in order to very seriously reflect about that which is called “internal consideration” has arrived. There is not the least bit of doubt regarding the disastrous consequences of “intimate self consideration.” Besides hypnotizing the consciousness, it causes us to lose a lot of energy. If one would not make the mistake of identifying too much with one’s self, then internal self-consideration would be something more than impossible. When one becomes identified with his “self,” such a one loves his own self too much and feels self-pity. Often, such a person thinks that he has always behaved very well with this or that fellow, with the spouse, children, etc. and that nobody has appreciated it, etc.
In sum, one is a saint and all others are scoundrels and rascals. Preoccupation about what others might think about our own selves is one of the most common forms of inner self-consideration. They might suppose that we are not honest, sincere, truthful, courageous, etc. The most intriguing aspect of all this subject matter is that we unfortunately ignore the enormous loss of energy that this kind of worrying causes us. Precisely such worries born from our inner self- consideration are the cause of many hostile attitudes towards certain persons who have done us no evil. In these circumstances, loving oneself too much, considering oneself in this way, it is clear that the “I” or better if we say the “I’s,” instead of disappearing, become horribly fortified.
A person who is identified with his “self” pities his own situation, and it even occurs to him to keep a count of his problems. This is why he thinks, in spite of all his well known generosities, this or that fellow, the godfather, godmother, the neighbor, the boss, the friend, etc. have not repaid him as they were supposed to. Therefore, bottled up within this, he becomes unbearable and boring to the entire world. Practically, one cannot talk with such a person, because any conversation will certainly end up in his accounting book of such boastful sufferings. Regarding the Gnostic esoteric work, it is written that the growth of one’s soul is only possible through the forgiveness of others.
If someone lives from instant to instant, from moment to moment, suffering because he feels that others owe him something, because others have mistreated him, because others have caused him bitterness, then nothing will be able to grow in his interior, because he will always sing the same song. The Lord’s Prayer says: Forgive us our trespasses as we Hence, the feeling that people owe us something or the pain we experience is due to the evil deeds which others caused against us, etc., are obstacles for all internal progress of the soul. Jesus, the Great Kabir, said: “Agree with thee adversary quickly, while thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison. Verily I say unto thee, Thou shalt by no means come out thence, till thou hast paid the uttermost farthing..” MATTHEW 5:25,26 If they owe us, we owe. If we demand to be repaid to the last denarius, we should first pay the last farthing. This is the “Law of the Thalion,” “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth,” an absurd “vicious circle.” The apologies, compliance and the humiliations which we demand from others for the wrongs they caused us are also demanded from us, even if we consider ourselves to be “humble sheep.” So, to place oneself under unnecessary laws is an absurdity. It is better to place oneself under new influences.
The Law of Mercy is a more elevated influence than the Law of the violent man: “An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.” It is urgent, indispensable and non-excludable to place ourselves intelligently under the marvelous influences of the Gnostic esoteric work, in order to forget that people owe us and to eliminate from our psyche any form of self-consideration. forgive those who trespass against us.” We must never allow within ourselves feelings of the wrongs inflicted on us, sentiments of revenge, resentment, negative emotions, anxieties, violence, envy, incessant remembering of debts, etc. Gnosis is destined for those sincere aspirants who truly want to work and change. If we observe people we can see in a direct way that each person has his own song.
Each one sings his own psychological song. I want to emphatically refer to the subject matter of “psychological accounting” which is the feeling that people owe us. One complains, one auto-considers his own “self,” etc. Sometimes people “sing their song, just like that,” without anyone winding them up, without anyone’s invitation and on other occasions, after a few glasses of wine… We affirm that our boring song must be eliminated, because it incapacitates us internally; it robs us of much energy In matters of revolutionary psychology, someone who sings too well (we are not referring to a beautiful voice or to physical singing) certainly cannot go beyond himself. He remains in the past… A person impeded by sad songs cannot change his Level of Being. He cannot go beyond what he is. In order to pass to a superior Level of Being, it is necessary to cease being what one is. We need to not be what we are. If we continue being what we are, we will never pass to a superior Level of Being. In the field of practical life, unusual things happen.
Very often, a person starts a friendship with another, just because it is easy to sing his song to that person. Unfortunately, such types of relationships end when the singer is asked to shut up, to change the record, to talk about something else, etc. Then the resentful singer leaves in search of a new friend, of someone who is willing to listen to him for an indefinite time. The singer demands comprehension, someone who comprehends him, as if it was easy to comprehend another person. In order to comprehend another person, first of all, it is necessary to comprehend our own self. Unfortunately, the good singer believes that he comprehends himself. Many are the disenchanted singers who sing the song of not being comprehended and dream with a marvelous world where they are the central figures. Nevertheless, not all singers are public singers. There are also the reserved ones. They do not sing their song directly, but they do so secretly.
They are people who have worked much, who have suffered a great deal, who feel cheated. They think that life owes them all that which they were never capable of achieving. Usually, they feel an internal sadness, a sensation of monotony and frightening boredom, inner exhaustion or frustration around which thoughts accumulate. Unquestionably, secret songs prevent us from accessing the path of the Intimate SelfRealization of the Being. Unfortunately, such inner secret songs go by unnoticed within ourselves, unless we intentionally observe them. Obviously, all self-observation allows light to penetrate into ourselves within our inner depths. No interior change can occur in our psyche unless we allow the light of self-observation to penetrate. It is indispensable to observe oneself when alone in the same manner as when associated with people.
Very different “I’s,” very different thoughts, negative emotions, etc. present themselves when one is alone. One is not always in good company when alone. It is just normal, very natural to be very badly accompanied when in complete solitude. The most negative and dangerous “I’s” present themselves when one is alone. If we want to transform ourselves radically, we need to sacrifice our own sufferings. Often we express our sufferings in articulated or unarticulated songs.
V.M. Samael Aun Weor